I cried and they asked if I was getting married

One of the many frustrations this fall is that I don't have enough computers for all of my students. Two of my classes are doing a one-to-one laptop program, so usually they have enough laptops. (Though last week two suffered problems and the loaners didn't work. But I kept teaching anyway.) The other classes have 22 kids each. We have 24 computers. Four are broken. They're under warranty, so they'll be fixed eventually, but in the meantime, I don't have enough computers.

I discovered this DURING class. A class where I'd assigned the students to finish an assignment using software I don't expect them to have at home because it is very expensive. So I'm holding a broken computer, looking at a room full of kids in which I am going to have to tell one student she can't finish the assignment and has to spend the next hour watching the other students work. Meanwhile, I have about four other kids yelling my name because they can't log in. (The definition of "computer works" includes "runs the software I need to teach" but does not include "kids can log in".)

I couldn't take it. I don't know how to teach, in the moment, in that kind of chaos. I felt tears fill my eyes. So I thought, "okay, the only thing to do is to throw myself on the mercy of the kids and ask for patience." I sat on my desk and asked for their attention.

This is the best part.

"Are you getting married too?" (Another teacher just announced her engagement.) "No, she's already married!" "Are you really married?" "How come we didn't know you're married?" "Are you having a baby?" "Are you moving away?" It never occured to them that I couldn't teach them. If I had Big News, it must be personal.

It was quite the let-down for them when I said I just wanted patience while everything keeps breaking and not working.

And we made it through the day, through a combination of absences and students who'd already finished the assignment. I've switched to teaching Computer Science Unplugged until I either have enough computers or can come up with lesson plans for pair programming. I don't want to hold off on the computer stuff for too long, for a variety of reasons, but I don't want to just tell them to sit with a partner without thinking through how to do pair programming *well*, which means wresting my attention away from all the sysadmining I've been doing and actually being a teacher.

On the other hand, I got to teach binary on Thursday, which was fun, and Tuesday's lesson features a debate about the impact of technology on society, springboarding off the introduction of the word "binary" into the vernacular.

Equity

This might be the most interesting argument for privileged people to reach out to create a more just world that I've ever seen.

Spin

I'm feeling frustrated this year. I had grandiose plans to redesign my curriculum so it would be better for my students. Instead, I have been completely snowed under by non-teaching tasks. The non-teaching tasks are refreshing and interesting in their own way, but it turns out that there are only 24 hours in a day, no matter how hard I try to have more, so my teaching-planning has been one of the things to get dropped.

I am of two minds about this - and here's where the spin comes in.

On the one hand, it is a nightmare. I walk in every single day and fake it. I haven't made up a semester plan, lesson plans, or even handouts - to one class I do all teaching verbally and to the other I just printed off a copy of some handouts from last year. It is terrible. I'm disorganized, I'm pedagogically weak, I haven't even gone over my classroom expectations with any of my students and this is week two!

On the other hand, I am an amazing teacher. I am managing to pull it all off with a minimum of impact on the students. I can walk into a classroom with only the slightest of ideas of what will happen and keep students engaged and happy for an hour. My students are having a great time and we haven't wasted time going over rules they already know.

I hope never to go through a Fall like this again, but at the same time, it is kind of nice to know that I can pull it off if I have to.

Teaching methods

School starts tomorrow. I'm simultaneously nervous and excited. Isn't it always that way?

My sixth graders are doing a special project, so while I'm not ready for them, I'm also less invested in some ways - it isn't really "my" curriculum.

My eighth graders are starting animation. The way I teach animation is to start with the history of animation. This year, I'm planning to have them use thaumatropes and zoetropes then have them make an animation with one. Then I introduce Flash, leading them step by step through learning to make animations.

This year I'm having kind of a quandry. On the one hand, if I could get them making actual animations right away, it would be so compelling. On the other hand, how can I get them doing great animations without first giving them the underlying understanding about how animation works? I recognize that I don't have to start with the history, but there is a value in stepwise learning, as long as it can be fun.

Lesson plans and portents

I am a pretty poor documentor of lesson plans. I usually have a written outline for a lesson but it is usually 3-5 points, no details, outlining the major things we're going to do. At various points I've tried all kinds of different techniques, but nothing has ever stuck. I'm a wing-it kind of girl. This isn't to say that my lessons aren't thoughtful, merely that I don't write down what I do before or afterwards. Of course, I suspect my life would be easier if I wrote down my ideas clearly in advance and revised the plan afterwards, then I'd have it for the next year.

Well, I just wrote down my lesson plan for the laptop orientation for kids. That I gave last Thursday and Friday. From - you guessed it - a 3-point (but with 5 subpoints!) outline. I'm worried that this is a bad portent of the upcoming year - rushing to do things after they're due. But at the same time, I'm proud of myself for doing it at all and feel good that I or the next person will be ready for next year.

I am supposed to have wildly revised my whole curriculum and have written a new curriculum for a special project. I have done very little work towards either project. I am really hoping to be able to take a deep breath and do both soon, though I think not this weekend. Which is too bad, what with school starting on Tuesday and all. Fortunately I have some plans for Tuesday, so if I can just fake it, I can work my tail off on Tuesday afternoon and evening and hopefully things will fall into place.

Teaching Us

Teaching Us is a video blog run by a woman who is passionate about education. It isn't specifically about CS, but it is pretty interesting. I like that she's trying to highlight what is *right* about education rather than decrying about what is *wrong* in education.

The first video inspired me to want to try video blogging myself. (I did eventually come to my senses and realize that I'm a word person, not an image/video person, I don't have the technical know-how, and most importantly, I don't have the time to get the technical know-how, though I'm sure I could figure it out.)

She ran into some technical problems that delayed the second video, but the wait was worth it.

CS Education

I think I'm going to split my two blogs. I've been thinking about this for a long time. I'm going to keep the other one as more of a personal thing - what's going on in my life - and have this one be reflections on my professional life. I'm not sure if I can do it - I have pretty weak boundaries about the private/professional split in my life - but I'm going to try.